Category: Read Selfishly in 2020

The First Rule About Book Clubs is…we should talk about Book Clubs.

3 Comments

As 2020 drags itself into December and towards the end of the year (thank goodness), I was thinking about how this year, I can honestly say hand on heart, that talking about books to other people (and copious quantities of almond magnums) has been the one thing that has made 2020 bearable.

I don’t think it’s any secret how much I love reading and talking about books, and I often forget I only started Years Of Reading just over three years ago.

What you probably don’t know about me is how way before I got to this point, that a Book Club in a local library helped me from falling deep into depression and kickstarted my love of reading again. I was finding things really tough at work, with no support and even though I was in a relationship and had a few good friends, I was feeling alone, bone tired and some days couldn’t see the point in getting out of bed.

One day when I was in a library in Leeds, I saw an advert for a Book Club starting right there in the library, and just thought it could be something to not only get me out of the house, but also to meet the other people who loved books too. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

We were a mixed bunch, and to be honest, I was probably the youngest person there, but do you know what? It didn’t matter. We were all there because we loved books, and for that midweek monthly evening, the upstairs meeting room in that library was our wonderful, inclusive, bookish heaven.

Not only did we get the chance to talk about the books we loved and the ones we didn’t, but for those two hours, I was with a group of people who completely understood what books and reading meant to me. They knew what it felt like when you read that book that meant everything, how thrilled you were when you found out your favourite author had a new book coming out, and what it felt like to have a stack of new books on your bedside table.

For me at that time in my life, the Book Club was a thing to look forward to, a definite date in my calendar and a goal I had to work towards – because if I hadn’t read the book, how could I take part? Listening to other people who loved reading as much as I did, gave me a connection, an unspoken understanding with someone else, and it slowly made me feel more like me again and genuinely interested in reading again.

As the Book Club took place in a library, we could get there early before it started. I could choose the books I wanted at leisure and have them nestled in my bag ready to look through on the bus home. As we all surely know by now, libraries are incredibly important for so many people for so many reasons too.

In my case, at various points in my life, libraries have been the thing that has got me through the week. They were the place I could go to when I didn’t have a job and very little money, where I could choose books to take home and lose myself just for a little while without worrying about the world outside. They have been my safe haven when I needed to have some time to myself and when I was alone in Leeds, talking to the library staff was often the only human contact I had aside from talking to my parents in Wales.

This is why the Generation Book Club – which is being set up by Louie Freeman-Bassett, is so important – perhaps now more than ever. When Louie contacted me to ask if I would talk about what he is doing, I didn’t hesitate to say yes.

Louie is single handedly trying to create a network of Book Clubs so that anyone who loves reading but is not sure where to find their local group can search online on his site.

Generation Book Club is aiming to not only get as many Book Clubs signed up as possible, but is also attempting to get a Book Club signed up in every county in the UK by World Book Day – the 4th March 2021.

If you run a Book Club, or want to find one in your area, have a look at Louie’s site to see how you can get involved. Even if you could just share Louie’s site on Twitter or follow Generation Book Club on Instagram it would really help to get the word out. He’s doing this all on his own – and I am in awe of him and want to help. It’s undeniable that Lockdown has had a massive impact on our lives, and loneliness is hard to bear at the best of times, but there is no doubt that sharing the love of reading can help.

The Book Club in Headingley Library was one of those times in my life where books and reading were truly what kept me going. It helped me understand that meeting and talking to other bookish people is not only the best feeling in the world, but that when you can share the love of reading with someone else who absolutely understand what books mean to you – you are never on your own.

The Swallowed Man by Edward Carey

Leave a comment

The Swallowed Man by Edward Carey

Published by Gallic Belgravia

Available from all Good Bookshops and Online

What They Say

From the acclaimed author of Little comes this beautiful and haunting imagining of the years Geppetto spends within the belly of a sea beast.

Drawing upon the Pinocchio story while creating something entirely his own, Carey tells an unforgettable tale of fatherly love and loss, pride and regret, and of the sustaining power of art and imagination.

What I Say

I was lucky to read Edward’s novel Little before it was published, and it has since that time always had a special place in my reading heart, because it was such a perfectly written and absorbing novel.

When I heard that his next novel The Swallowed Man was about Pinocchio’s father Geppetto imprisoned inside a sea beast, I just didn’t know how it could compare to Little.

In fact, and to be completely honest with you, when I finished it, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Then I sat and thought about what I had just read, and slowly realised just how powerful and incredibly poignant it really is.

Geppetto, after losing his son Pinocchio who has run away from him, had taken a boat to try and find him after an alleged sighting. That is when he is swallowed by a sea beast and wakes up to find he is a prisoner inside the animal with no way of escape.

Little by little, Geppetto starts to tell us the story of his life as he tries to navigate his new home. He finds a whole ship inside the sea beast which gives you an idea as to the scale of the world he now finds himself in. This becomes his place of safety. He raids the ship for supplies, takes over the Captain’s rooms, and starts to write down everything in an attempt to keep his mind focussed on his plight, and his belief that one day he will find a way out.

As the novel progresses, he starts to reminisce, and look back on the life he has led, the women he has loved, and most importantly, the life he created. He made Pinocchio out of wood, so that he could say he was a father. What he didn’t anticipate was Pinocchio’s free will, and his desire to be like the other boys he saw from the windows of his home.

This is what Geppetto found so hard to understand. He had created his son, but wanted to control him, and when he couldn’t, he punished him and made Pinocchio so miserable that he ran away.

For me, this was the theme that ran so clearly through the novel. How that at the heart of this story is a man who realises not only what he has lost, but also by losing Pinocchio, what being a father actually means. He now understands that not only did he need a connection to someone, but that Pinocchio also needed other human connections to flourish too.

Little by little Geppetto loses his grip on reality, and wracked with grief he tries to make other Pinocchios to try and ease his pain. They never turn out the same, and are often grotesque. He believes one of them is actually haunting him, and his descent into madness becomes more painful to witness, and his journal entries become increasingly erratic.

The Swallowed Man may be a short novel, but it is intensely affecting. As a reader we suspect that Geppetto will not survive his ordeal, but Edward makes you engage so much with him that you are hoping for a miracle, and that the father and son will be reunited. The incredible illustrations by Edward throughout the book really gave the story an extra dimension, and made Geppetto feel more authentic as well as giving the reader that connection to him.

If you are looking for a rose tinted retelling of the Pinocchio story you knew as a child, this is not for you. However, if you want to read a story about the immense power of love, loss and the instinctive need we have to connect to someone to feel human, this is the book for you.

I loved it.

Thank you so much to Isabelle at Gallic Belgravia for my gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

Leave The World Behind by Rumaan Alam

3 Comments

Leave The World Behind by Rumaan Alam

Published by Bloomsbury

Available from all Good Bookshops and Online

What They Say

A magnetic novel about two families, strangers to each other, who are forced together on a long weekend gone terribly wrong

Amanda and Clay head to a remote corner of Long Island expecting a holiday: a quiet reprieve from life in New York City, quality time with their teenage son and daughter and a taste of the good life in the luxurious home they’ve rented for the week. But with a late-night knock on the door, the spell is broken. Ruth and G. H., an older couple who claim to own the home, have arrived there in a panic. These strangers say that a sudden power outage has swept the city, and – with nowhere else to turn – they have come to the country in search of shelter.

But with the TV and internet down, and no phone service, the facts are unknowable. Should Amanda and Clay trust this couple – and vice versa? What has happened back in New York? Is the holiday home, isolated from civilisation, a truly safe place for their families? And are they safe from one another?

What I Say

Hand on heart, I was slightly hesitant about starting Leave the World Behind. I am not good with horror books, and especially gory things. It has been all over social media, with no one really explaining why it is so disturbing, so I started to read it with more than a little trepidation.

The thing is, the reason Leave The World Behind is one of those novels that leaves you more than a little stunned and a lot speechless, is because of what is not said, what is not explained, and how you as the reader are left to fill in the blanks of the story.

Amanda and Clay, and their teenage children Archie and Rose seem to be the embodiment of the picture perfect American family. Both Amanda and Clay have successful careers, and their children lead full and privileged lives. When Amanda decides to book a luxurious holiday home in Long Island, it seems like the most wonderful plan.

In a remote location, with little or no internet connection, the house is beautifully furnished, filled with everything the family could wish for. Little by little the family start to unwind and enjoy their time together. That is until one night there is a knock at the door, and it is an elderly couple called the Washingtons who claim that this is their home, and they need to be there because there has been a massive power cut throughout New York and this is their place of safety.

Reluctantly Amanda and Clay let them in, and are obviously uneasy and mistrustful of them – and although they never explicitly say it, we as a reader absolutely know it is because the Washingtons are black. It is that unspoken and ingrained racism that permeates their unconscious reaction to them, however liberal they may claim to be.

As the strangers are thrown together, unable to find any concrete information about what has happened as they cannot connect to the internet, they are forced to confront the fact that they have no way of knowing what will happen next. While they are adjusting to the new set up, slowly strange, inexplicable things start to happen. There are spontaneous incredibly loud noises that sound almost like sonic booms, Clay takes the car out and cannot find his way anywhere except back to the house, beyond the perimeter of the fence, hundreds of deer are congregating, and when Archie is suddenly taken poorly, his teeth start to fall out.

We are also drip fed snippets of information in incidental paragraphs as to the scale of the horrors that are happening beyond the world of the families, and how the world is slowly heading towards natural and technological disasters on an unprecedented scale. Yet they have absolutely no clue, and instead start to relax in each other’s company, confident that they will be able to find solutions soon. It is interesting to note how when they are dislocated from the social and economic constraints and expectations of the world that they start to live more freely.

It is only when the families decide they need medical help for Archie that they make a life changing decision.

Rumaan Alam’s novel succeeds precisely because it is set in a world we all recognise and are comfortable in. We can relate to both families – we see the family familiar to lots of us; trying to have a relaxing time balanced with the demands of their teenagers, being in someone else’s home so you are always slightly on edge, and the frustrating lack of technology when it has become second nature to you. Yet we also empathise with the Washingtons, who faced with a world of uncertainty simply want to find comfort and reassurance in the very place they call home. They too are away from what they know and cannot reach their daughter, and the place that should be a place of comfort and peace is occupied by strangers who are sleeping in their bed and taking over every part of their house.

I felt that the narrative moved along at the perfect pace, and I thought it was interesting to see the development and flourishing of the characters as they become more reliant on each other. I thought that the Washingtons as the novel progresses became almost surrogate parents and grandparents. I also liked how the seemingly quiet and unassuming Rose was actually the character with the most resilience and resolve, and seemed to understand what her family would have to do to survive for as long as they can.

Leave The World Behind left me with lots of questions when I had finished it. What would happen to the families? When the supplies run out, what is next for them all? What caused these events in the first place? That for me is the quiet and understated brilliance of this novel. The reader is not given a neat and convenient ending to smugly close the book, instead the resolution is as easy or as complicated as you want. Your imagination is the deciding factor in the final reading of the novel, and that is what makes it so difficult to describe to others, and so absolutely impossible to forget.

Thank you so much to Emilie Chambeyron at Bloomsbury for my gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

Is There Anybody There..?

35 Comments

Let’s be honest here, 2020 has been a challenging and emotional year for all of us. I didn’t realise the impact of Covid as I talked hopefully about going to New York for my 50th, or those wonderful weekend visits to my Dad in Wales, or the relaxing days out my husband and I would have together as our boys were in school.

C word aside, 2020 has been a year of reading and reflection for me like no other, especially about my whole online presence as Years Of Reading.

I have read more books than I have ever done this year (I’m not saying how many, reading is not a competition thank you!), attended virtual events with authors I would never normally had the chance to do in ‘real life’, and discovered novels and authors that might have usually passed me by.

This is the thing. I love shouting about books, nothing apart from The Real Housewives, almond magnums and The Queen’s Gambit brings me more joy, but I’m not sure what’s the best way to do it anymore..

Years Of Reading Selfishly started out purely as a blog in 2017, then with tentative tweets and random bookish Instagram posts (I don’t have the props, white duvet, patience or amazing creativity to do anything else other than post a picture of a book on a standard filter background), and that seemed to work. Once I realised setting all my accounts to private were also quite probably not helping me get the word out, there was nothing more I loved than writing a blog post about a brilliant book I wanted to tell you all about too.

It’s just right now, ironically writing a blog post, I don’t know the most effective way of communicating about books I have loved any more, and it’s playing on my mind.

If I get 50 views on a book review post that I’ve spent two hours writing (not including the time I’ve spent reading the book) then I’m lucky. On a side note, it also really frustrating if you’ve spent a long time writing it, posting it, tagging the publisher and author and then no one acknowledges it – because you love this book so much and want everyone to know about it.

Surprisingly it is the posts about general bookish things that get far more likes, which is interesting and shows that the right topic at the right time can definitely strike a chord with a lot of people too.

My Instagram posts get far more likes, but I wonder if that is a case of people just scrolling through and double clicking to like it because you know them? Are the people who like it reading my review and know why exactly this certain novel resonated so personally with me?

Tweets just don’t seem long enough to tell everyone how fabulous a book is – 280 characters is one heck of a concise review, and no edit button either. Plus you need to tag everyone in it, which takes up vital space. Don’t even get me started on those Fleets..

I’ve cut back on my video reviews because I don’t feel confident enough at the moment to do them, and worry that the Bookish world is heartily sick of my face. It’s also trying to find the time and place to do them when your other half currently works from home, your Springer spaniel is crazy, and you don’t live in a house with calm and beautifully organised bookshelves.

Ask any committed Blogger, we all know that reviews still need to be done – you can’t go round asking for books and then never review them just because you don’t feel heard. How is that fair to the author and publisher who have taken the time to send you a book? Anyone can take a picture of a book, but that doesn’t tell anyone what you thought of it, how it made you feel or why you think the people who take the time to follow you would love to read it too.

Which is where I am at the moment. Wondering what to do for the greater Bookish Good and for all those fabulous books that deserve to be shouted about as loudly and widely as possible.

I’ve talked with Amanda (BookishChat) numerous times as we have both been thinking about this a lot. I know that Janet was asking the very same question on her Twitter account too, to try and work out the best way forward with reviews.

Maybe the bookish world has shifted to a more double tap and scrolling culture, and my blogs are simply a way for me to have a written record of the books that I have loved and have shaped my reading journey. Perhaps I have to put aside the worries about not being heard, and instead recognise that talking about books in whatever way I want to is still sharing the Book Love – no matter how many or few people hear me do it.

Love

Clare xx

How Do You Do It?

18 Comments

As well as writing reviews and talking about books I have loved, I often find myself thinking about Book Blogging and the marvellous world I fell into three years ago.

For me, part of doing all this is sometimes to stop and take stock of where I am and where I want to be, and well, seeing that this is my blog, I guess it is also my space to talk about things that I think about when I am talking to you about all things bookish.

I have to tell you that something has been really bothering me for a while, and so I am just going to put it out there.

How do you deal with all the books you have on your teetering TBR? The books that have been on your bookshelves for so long that you stumble upon them by surprise? The ones you promised yourself you would definitely read and review for a publisher this month – but never do..

I want to ask specifically about the books you have asked for – when the fabulous publicists ask for Bloggers and Bookstagrammers to put their hands up for a copy.

That’s right, how do you feel when you have asked for a book – and you don’t manage to read it- even though at the time you told yourself you definitely would?

Do you try and post a picture and a tweet/post about the book on publication day, or do you do nothing? Or are you disciplined and you only ask for those books you know you will definitely read and review?

We’ve all done it, fallen down that rabbit hole where the delicious promise of the new book being offered is too hard to resist, and that ever present Fear Of Missing Out kicks in. It makes us believe that if we don’t manage to get a copy of the book everyone is talking about, that we are losing out on some shared bookish wonder, and that we are not part of the ‘gang’..

If you are lucky enough to get a copy of the book, it arrives, you post it on your social media channels, making sure you tag and thank all the people you know you should, put it on your bookshelf ready to read at the right moment – and sometimes, for whatever reason – you don’t.

My Bookshelves are right next to where I sit, and as I am typing this and glance to my right, there are all my latest books and proofs filed in publication date order, patiently waiting for their chance to fall in my hands so I can read and shout about them to you all.

I would love to hear how you deal with your ever increasing reading pile and especially the books that you have asked for. I’ve done it, and have got to the point where I have had so many sitting on my shelves that I feel completely embarrassed and honestly, truly guilty for asking for a book when I have no clue when I will actually have time to read and review it.

Recently, sometimes when I have emailed to request a proof, I have been asked where my review will appear with a request that I tag the appropriate people when I do it. I completely understand that. Proofs cost money to produce, and in recent times that is more pertinent than ever, so if a physical copy is being sent out, it seems only right to me that you should be asked where your review will be posted.

I like the fact that I am being held accountable for asking for a book, and I always keep in the back of my mind the fact that lots of other Book Bloggers would love the chance to read and review it. By reading and reviewing, I feel I am helping show the publishers how crucial and dedicated Book Bloggers are in spreading the word about their books.

How as Bloggers do we find the balance between wanting to shout about books we are excited about, but also in being honest to the people who follow us and trust our book recommendations? Can you request a book, post about it and then never read it? Do people ever ask you what you thought about a certain book and you haven’t actually read it, and if so, did you feel embarrassed about admitting it?

I just honestly wonder now whether increasingly sometimes the thrill of the chase and the collecting of the books takes precedence over actually reading and reviewing them. Perhaps it’s when you are confronted by the groaning bookshelves in front of you do you realise you are never going to be able to read them all – and that’s a difficult thing to admit to yourself, and even harder to say to everyone else too.

I don’t have an answer, and I am sure lots of you have your own opinions about how you deal with your TBR pile, and the right and wrongs of asking for books. I feel like I just needed to put my thoughts down in a post to get them straight!

2020 has been a pretty challenging year for lots of us for many reasons, and in my toughest months, it has been reading and sharing with you about books I have loved that quite honestly, have kept me going this year. Perhaps I need to remember that the very reason I started Years of Reading was not to be in some sort of bookish race – be it reading the most or having the latest releases, but quite simply to be totally authentic about books I have read and loved, so I can be honest in my recommendations to you and help you find the books that you love as much as I do.

Love

Clare xx

The Lies You Told by Harriet Tyce

Leave a comment

The Lies You Told by Harriet Tyce

Published by Wildfire Books

Available from all Good Bookshops and Online.

What They Say

Sadie loves her daughter and will do anything to keep her safe.

She can’t tell her why they had to leave home so quickly – or why Robin’s father won’t be coming with them to London.

She can’t tell her why she hates being back in her dead mother’s house, with its ivy-covered walls and its poisonous memories.

And she can’t tell her the truth about the school Robin’s set to start at – a school that doesn’t welcome newcomers.
Sadie just wants to get their lives back on track.

What I Say

I was lucky enough to read Harriet’s debut novel Blood Orange as a proof, and absolutely loved every single page. When I heard that she had written The Lies You Told, I really wanted to read it. The thing is, when someone’s first novel has been so memorable, I am always worried that the second novel may not live up to the first one.

I could not have been more wrong. In fact, just between us – I think The Lies You Told is even better.

Sadie’s marriage to Andrew has ended, and she has left him in the United States to bring their daughter Robin back to the UK. They have to move back in to Sadie’s now run down childhood home which in a calculated decision by Sadie’s late mother Lydia, has only been left to Robin. Lydia and Sadie had no relationship, she resented Sadie for ruining her chance at a career, and was cruel and indifferent towards her. Lydia could not forgive her daughter for giving up her promising career in law to have Robin and destroyed everything in her bedroom as a way of showing her anger. Even from the grave, Lydia has exacted her revenge, by stipulating that Sadie and Robin can only live there if Robin attends Ashams school – the same school Sadie went to, and hated.

Just as Robin is petrified of attending a new school as a Year 6 student, Sadie also has to deal with the group of über parents at Ashams – led by Julia, the unequivocal Queen Bee. What Harriet captures so well in this novel is the absolute awfulness of people like Julia and her school mum clique which sent a chill down my spine, as it all seemed too familiar! The way in which they decide who is to be talked to and who is to be ignored. The desperate need those around Julia – like the subservient Nicole, have, to be acknowledged by her to feel that they exist. Perhaps even more troubling is the way in which these parents project their own aspirations and drill their children into believing that passing the eleven plus to get into the best secondary school is the only thing that matters.

It is clear from the start that neither the other pupils or mothers want Sadie and Robin there, even more so when Robin performs brilliantly academically, proving to be a real threat to the chances that the other girls will have for getting their place in secondary school. Sadie is trying to navigate the social minefield of school life, whilst at the same time is trying to make an impression at work in chambers. She is helping with the defence for a case where a teacher called Jeremy has been accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a pupil called Freya, and she and her colleagues are working to prove that he is telling the truth, and that Freya is the one lying.

As Sadie strives to resurrect her career, she finally reaches breaking point with the vindictiveness of Julia, Nicole and their clique. It is only when she shows them that she used to attend Ashams herself, suddenly the defences are down and chillingly she is welcomed unquestioningly into the group with open arms. Although Sadie might believe this will make her and Robin’s life far easier, this acceptance into the Queen Bee’s world triggers a chain of events that shows how disturbingly far some parents will go to get what they believe their children are entitled to (no spoilers here, you need to read the book!)!

The Lies You Told works so well, because Harriet has recognised and honed absolutely in on what drives so many parents – the need to be able to show how much more their child has achieved than everyone else’s. It is a novel that totally absorbed me, and Harriet knows exactly when to turn up the pace and when to slow down the plot so that the relationships between the characters can come to the fore. Her depiction of Sadie and Robin’s relationship really resonated with me, as she perfectly describes the love, protectiveness and sheer frustration that you can have with your children – often within the same ten minutes!

It is also a very insightful and articulate novel about the pressure and stress we increasingly put our children under, believing that we know best as to what they should be achieving, as oppose to sometimes stopping to listen to what they are telling us. I loved how when Sadie is ‘allowed’ to join the clique, that little by little, Julia and Nicole slowly reveal themselves as their guards come down. Initially you start to feel empathy with these women and the immense strain they are putting on themselves to appear to be the perfect parents, but Harriet skilfully and slowly reveals how these women are anything but defenceless.

It was also interesting how the narrative was split between Robin and Sadie’s experience of Ashams School, and the legal case Sadie is working on. At work, as well as having to prove herself after a long absence, she starts to sense that Jeremy is not as innocent as he pleads, and is being protected by those around him. One of the themes in this novel I felt, was the notion of identity and fitting in. We see how Sadie has to try and find her place at the school and work, as does Robin. Jeremy presents one identity to the court to seem like the innocent party, but slowly starts to reveal who he really is. Julia, Nicole and the parents at Asham, show how their identities are inextricably linked with their children, and how they have to mould themselves into what is expected of them, so that they seamlessly fit in – irrespective of how much that goes against who they really are.

I found The Lies You Told impossible to put down. As with all accomplished writers, just when you smugly assume you know where the novel is going, Harriet pulls the rug from under you and you realise you were absolutely wrong. The pieces of the puzzle fall slowly into place, and the truth starts to emerge at a deliciously perfect pace. The novel pulls us towards a breathtaking conclusion that when you have finished, leaves you questioning every line you have just read and wondering how you missed the clues – and that for me really is the sign of a brilliant book.

I absolutely loved it.

Thank you so much to Rosie Margesson for my gifted proof copy of The Lies You Told in exchange for an honest review.

Dear Reader by Cathy Rentzenbrink

15 Comments

Dear Reader by Cathy Rentzenbrink

Published by Picador on 17th September

Available from All Good Bookshops and Online

What They Say

For as long as she can remember, Cathy Rentzenbrink has lost and found herself in stories. Growing up she was rarely seen without her nose in a book and read in secret long after lights out. When tragedy struck, books kept her afloat. Eventually they lit the way to a new path, first as a bookseller and then as a writer. No matter what the future holds, reading will always help.

Dear Reader is a moving, funny and joyous exploration of how books can change the course of your life, packed with recommendations from one reader to another.

What I Say

“And I know that whatever else may happen in my life, I will love talking to strangers about books. Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved books. She still does. She always will.”

I was going to do a video review for Dear Reader – you know me, there’s nothing better I like than having an opportunity to talk about books I adore to an audience – no matter how few people are watching! To be honest, I realised that two minutes twenty seconds of a Twitter video isn’t long enough to tell you why I loved Dear Reader.

Life at the moment doesn’t really lend itself to me shouting about books on Twitter and Instagram. Personal circumstances have meant that books and blogging have had to take a total back seat whilst I concentrate on looking after my family. Just between us, not having to do it has felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders too.

I wanted to tell you that because that’s why I needed to take a break from book blogging and social media. Suddenly shouting about books and retweeting things didn’t seem that important. I’ve still been scrolling through Twitter and Instagram don’t get me wrong, but it’s been a strange experience. It’s as if you are standing outside the school playground when you can still see everything going on through the fence – who is playing nicely together, who is shouting the most, or the loudest, and who is picking on who – I just decided not to step through the gate for a bit.

I posted the blog posts I had promised, as well as pictures of the books that had arrived (thank you so much to everyone who sent me something) but for the last two weeks I have been existing in some kind of bookish limbo – aware of my commitments to people, but having absolutely no desire to pick up a book and read anything.

When the fabulous Camilla Elworthy at Picador very kindly sent me a copy of Cathy’s book a while back, I put it on my shelf to read later because I didn’t feel like I needed it. The past fortnight has been one of huge ups and downs, and on Saturday, feeling slightly overwhelmed and a little concerned by my complete and total lack of bookish enthusiasm, I pulled it down from my shelves and started reading.

The thing is, I couldn’t stop.

Dear Reader made me laugh, made me cry (a lot!), and also made me nod furiously as I read it. I was reading about myself in these pages. Finally someone had totally articulated the pure unadulterated joy of books and reading, and I loved every single page.

I remember the numerous times I have put off doing something so I can squeeze in another chapter, the sheer delight of choosing a book and curling up with it uninterrupted, and the quizzical looks from someone who just doesn’t understand the joy that reading brings. All of this is in Cathy’s book – I said in a comment on Instagram to Cathy that I had never felt so seen!

Cathy intersperses chapters from her own personal life – how she started reading, her career as a bookseller at Waterstones and then working for Quick Reads before becoming a writer, with almost prescriptions for us, books on different topics and themes, to help and educate, to reignite the reading passion we may have lost.

The most poignant part of the book for me is when Cathy talks about her grief in losing her brother Matty. I read Cathy’s memoir The Last Act of Love when it was published, and apart from openly sobbing at some points, I remember feeling her pain and loss so acutely, and was in awe of the all encompassing love she felt for Matty and how she described the feelings of grief so perfectly.

When my Mum passed away last year, I turned to reading as I talked about here – it became the cure to the uncharted heartbreak I was drowning in. Yet this time things are different. I feel overwhelmed by the world beyond my living room, and can’t really connect with anything. As I sit writing this, to my right are my bookshelves, groaning with so many unread books to read that it’s ridiculous – and yet I still ordered two more yesterday. That’s the thing that Cathy understands so well – that the way we feel about books is in our subconscious, and however unlikely it seems, it is always there whatever life may throw at us.

Dear Reader really made me stop and think about my whole approach to reading. In saying this, I am probably ending any chance of ever being sent a proof again, but here’s the thing. Why as a reader and blogger have I become so hung up on having the latest releases to shout about? When I started blogging I simply read what I fancied and talked about it, but as I have told you before, I have noticed recently how having the latest releases it is seemingly all that matters and honestly, I am weary of it.

Cathy’s book gave me the breathing space I needed. She made me realise that reading is not a race, that there is nothing wrong with simply stepping back and looking at the books I already have, rather than being desperate to have the books everyone is telling me I need to be a contented reader. It was as if the answer to my literary dilemmas had been sitting in this book all the time, and now I finally understand it.

Dear Reader is absolutely the book I wish I had had when I was younger. As a teenager I was frequently teased about my love of books and reading. People just didn’t seem to understand my need to have books, the delight in searching other people’s bookshelves, the satisfaction in working my way round the library from children’s fiction to the tantalising moment when I started reading adult fiction. I was lucky in that both my parents read avidly, and when my mum passed away, the only thing I really wanted of hers were the books on her bookshelf, still with the bookmarks in, even though forensic science and social workers memoirs were never my kind of read!

Books give me that emotional connection, an unspoken link with someone else, and a shared memory that can never be forgotten. They are a way for me to start a conversation, to escape from my world for a little while and to learn about new ones, and for me nothing feels better than finding a novel you want to tell everyone they need to read.

Quite simply, books and reading bring me joy, and Dear Reader is an unapologetically glorious love letter to both. I would go as far to say that it is required reading for anyone who has ever felt that they are alone in their love of books. Dear Reader will help you see that in fact that there are numerous people who feel exactly the same way as you do – and it’s a revelation!

It is a book that not only reignited my passion for reading, and added a lot of books to my reading list, but in reading Cathy’s story it made me feel that like her, I will carry on talking to people about books for as long as I can, and reminded me that little girl who loved reading is always there too.

Thank you so much to Camilla Elworthy for my gifted copy.

The Harpy by Megan Hunter

4 Comments

The Harpy by Megan Hunter

Published by Picador Books on 3rd September

Available from all Good Bookshops and Online

What They Say

Lucy and Jake live in a house by a field where the sun burns like a ball of fire. Lucy works from home but devotes her life to the children, to their finely tuned routine, and to the house itself, which comforts her like an old, sly friend. But then a man calls one afternoon with a shattering message: his wife has been having an affair with Lucy’s husband, he wants her to know.

The revelation marks a turning point: Lucy and Jake decide to stay together, but in a special arrangement designed to even the score and save their marriage, she will hurt him three times. Jake will not know when the hurt is coming, nor what form it will take.

As the couple submit to a delicate game of crime and punishment, Lucy herself begins to change, surrendering to a transformation of both mind and body from which there is no return.

Told in dazzling, musical prose, The Harpy by Megan Hunter is a dark, staggering fairy tale, at once mythical and otherworldly and fiercely contemporary. It is a novel of love, marriage and its failures, of power and revenge, of metamorphosis and renewal.

What I Say

I asked my mother what a harpy was; she told me that they punish men, for the things they do.

There are few novels that serve to unsettle the reader so deliciously and perfectly, blurring the lines between the mythical and the real. The Harpy is a novel that may be short, but it builds in momentum to a moment that is the perfect ending to a story of love and revenge and imprisonment and freedom.

Lucy and Jake seemingly have an idyllic marriage. They have two sons called Ted and Paddy, and are caught up in the usual concerns and constraints of parenting and marriage. Lucy works at home as a copy writer, and juggles parenting with her job, while Jake works long hours as a University academic.

Then one day, Lucy receives a phone call which shatters the world she knows. Jake has been having an affair with a woman called Vanessa that he works with. Lucy’s world has changed forever and she has to face the man she thought she knew better than anyone.

This is not a straightforward story of a woman scorned and a penitent man. At the heart of the story is The Harpy, a mythical creature which has a woman’s head and body and a bird’s wings and claws. It is here the novel shifts between magical realism and the claustrophobic domestic narrative.

The narrative is physically split in the novel between Jake and Lucy, and the other story – how Lucy has always been fascinated by the story of The Harpy. There is the underlying notion that her interest comes from the fact that Lucy is closer to understanding a what a Harpy is than we could possibly imagine.

As Jake and Lucy struggle to repair their marriage, and acknowledge the pain that Lucy is suffering, Jake tells Lucy that she can hurt him three times – he will have no forewarning, and when it’s done, Lucy’s revenge will be complete.

This turns the novel in a new and dark direction. We know that Lucy feels an affinity with The Harpy, and has done since she was a child, and has studied it extensively. The clues in the text seem to suggest it is a side of Lucy’s personality she has subsumed for a long time. Now it has been awakened, and Lucy is ready to fully embrace all the chaos and mayhem the Harpy will bring to ensure that Jake is published for his betrayals.

For so long Lucy has done exactly what is expected of her in the marriage and has played the role of dutiful wife and mother. Now she has this immense power and tantalising freedom to do what she wants when she wants, this is tempered by the fact that this is not easy for Lucy, but for her to move on it she knows has to be done.

After she has hurt Jake twice, things start to twist and turn and Lucy’s world is shaken by a decision Jake makes after everything he promised. As the novel draws to its heartstopping conclusion, the spectre of the Harpy looms ever closer, and it becomes more difficult to see where Lucy ends and the Harpy begins. There is a building tension and as Lucy physically runs away from her marital home, the descriptions become more raw and sensory as she is aware of the environment around her. It is as if Lucy is leaving behind her domestic world and entering the magical and natural one to absolve herself of what pain she has inflicted on Jake and the pain he has caused her.

The Harpy works so well because of how Megan Hunter has captured the reality and limitations of the domestic sphere and the grinding reality of a world where Lucy is constrained by the expectations of her husband and her sons. You feel her frustration as if she is caged, her desperation as her marriage implodes, and her realisation of the power she has if she gives finally gives way to the Harpy. It is a chilling and beautifully written book that may be short, but perfectly captures both the nuances of a marriage in crisis, and a woman who unearths the strength she has kept buried for so long.

I absolutely loved it.

Thank you so much to Camilla Elworthy at Picador for my gifted copy of The Harpy.

Sad Janet by Lucie Britsch

Leave a comment

Sad Janet by Lucie Britsch

Published by W&N Books on 3 September

Available from All Good Bookshops and Online

What They Say

Meet Janet. Janet is sad. Not about her life, about the world. Have you seen it these days? 

The thing is, she’s not out to make anyone else sad. She’s not turning up to weddings shouting that most marriages end in divorce. She just wants to wear her giant coat, get rid of her passive-aggressive boyfriend, and avoid human interaction at the rundown dog shelter where she works. 

That is, until word spreads about a new pill that promises cynics like her one day off from being sad. When her family stages an intervention, and the prospect of making it through Christmas alone seems like too much, Janet finally decides to give them what they want. What follows is life-changing for all concerned – in ways no one quite expects. 

Hilarious, provocative and profound, Sad Janet is the antidote to our happiness-obsessed world. 

What I Say

Love is like gluten, I should have told the doctor. I can’t process it properly.

I know I should start with some measured and profound statement about Sad Janet, but I’m just going to say this. I absolutely and completely LOVED this book. One of my #MostSelfishReads2020 without a shadow of a doubt.

Right, now we have got that out of the way, you need to know why don’t you?

Janet lives her life in a perpetual state of sadness, but she is aware of it. She is fine just working and being at home and doing little else. The thing is, everyone else wants to ‘fix’ her, and mould her into the person they think she should be – happy, sociable and basically no trouble to her family. They want her to fit in, so they no longer have to explain her to anyone.

After graduating, she has decided to work in a crumbling dog shelter out in the middle of nowhere, with the formidable feminist powerhouse that is Debs, and Melissa, a positive and happy soul who is the exact opposite of Janet.

When she separates from her boyfriend, and aware that it actually doesn’t upset her that much, Janet starts to think about her life. All around her, people are happy- but not authentically. Self medication is mainstream, and viewed as the norm. When Janet is offered the opportunity to be part of a trial for a new pill claiming to provide happiness for the person taking it, and the prospect of a horrendous family Christmas on the horizon, Janet decides to sign up.

Part of the trial involves Janet going to an excruciating weekly meeting, with other trial participants, and it is there she sees a group of people who are just like her, and are really just there to talk about themselves or get the necessary boxes ticked to complete the trials. It’s run by a group leader called Karen who has a badly prepared marketing script and intends to stick to it, and a man from the Pharmaceutical company who is rather chillingly observing the group.

As Janet goes through the trial, her family are eagerly waiting for the new and transformed ‘happy’ Janet, and especially Janet’s Mother, who is eager for a daughter she can finally show off and bond with. This for me is the crux of the novel, and what makes it so relevant and true. We are so insistent on presenting and wanting ours and others best selves constantly, using filters and editing what we show people, making sure our lives are liked and retweeted. Our stock answer to any question about ourselves is ‘fine’, because to be truthful is unpalatable to hear. Janet is unique because she doesn’t subscribe to that – and it unsettles people because it means she is an individual in a world of sameness.

Little by little, Janet apparently seems to be benefitting from the medication, and is more aware of her feelings and those of other people. She even agrees to take an agonising trip to the Mall with her mother under duress in an attempt to try and feel what she thinks she should. That scene for me encapsulated perfectly the divide between how Janet functions and what her Mother wants her to be, and I absolutely felt Janet’s awkwardness and horror at being at the Mall!

Does this magical pill work? You will have to read Sad Janet to find out because I’m not giving any spoilers..

What I will say, is this novel repeatedly made me laugh out loud, and there were lines and paragraphs I wanted to underline because they were so perfectly written. Although it may seem that Sad Janet is a humourous novel about a woman trying to find happiness – that is not doing it the justice it deserves. It’s so much more.

It is an astute and incisive commentary about our world today, and possibly a near future where worryingly self medication becomes the norm, to deal with the fact we are not feeling or reacting in the way others believe we should. The story moves at a perfect pace, and as the novel progresses, you understand that Janet is finding what works for her, and she has exactly what she needs around her already – she just has to see it. Janet is a character who not only thoroughly entertained me, but also kind of made me feel that perhaps being more Janet is exactly what we all need to be right now.

I absolutely loved it.

Imperfect Women by Araminta Hall

6 Comments

Imperfect Women by Araminta Hall

Published by Orion Books

Available from all Good Bookshops and Online

What They Say

Nancy, Eleanor and Mary met at college and have been friends ever since, through marriages, children and love affairs. 

Eleanor is calm and driven, with a deep sense of responsibility, a brilliant career and a love of being single and free – despite her soft spot for her best friend’s husband.

Mary is deeply intelligent with a love of learning, derailed by three children and a mean, demanding husband – she is now unrecognisable to herself and her friends.

Nancy is seemingly perfect: bright, beautiful and rich with an adoring husband and daughter – but beneath the surface her discontent is going to affect them all in terrible ways. 

When Nancy is murdered, Eleanor and Mary must align themselves to uncover her killer. And as each of their stories unfold, they realise that there are many different truths to find, and many different ways to bring justice for those we love…

What I Say

Women, Eleanor thought, carry guilt and responsibility like a second skin, so much it weighs them down and stops them ever achieving quite everything they should.

Over the years, I have come to realise that the kind of novels I love to read are ones where they are female led, the same age as I am, but most importantly with a moral and ethical code far removed from mine. Why? Well, in my opinion they make the most interesting and compelling stories.

Close enough to me so I can relate to their hopes and fears, but just deliciously twisted enough so that I can delight in the dilemmas and situations they find themselves in!

Do I seem that sort of person? Maybe you have a different view as to what kind of person I am, and that right there is the whole crux of Imperfect Women. Who really knows us, and what is the difference between our public and private selves? After all, we know that #PerfectionIsOverrated don’t we?

Three seemingly close friends Mary, Nancy and Eleanor met at University and have been together ever since. They have been there to support each other through affairs, marriage, childbirth and secrets.

These women seem to be the perfect and supportive friend group – until one day Nancy goes missing after having dinner with Eleanor and she is found dead. Instantly their world is turned upside down, and when Eleanor goes to Nancy’s house, Nancy’s husband Robert, confesses he believed that Nancy was having an affair. The thing is, Eleanor knew – but only that the man was called David and she had met him at work.

From this point on, the lives that these women have held together for so long starts to unravel in ways they could never have imagined. Eleanor and Mary are left facing the reality that the woman they believed they knew so well was someone they didn’t really know at all. Eleanor and Mary are desperate to find out what happened to their friend, but don’t for one minute think this novel is a murder mystery.

Imperfect Women is so much more.

As we hear the stories of each of the women – each has a section of the novel’s narrative to herself, what becomes increasingly apparent is this is a novel about the choices women make or are expected to make. It also shows the unpalatable truth that whichever one you choose it won’t be the right one. Nancy is a stay at home mum with an apparently fabulous and carefree lifestyle, Eleanor has dedicated her life to her career working for charity, and Mary has put aside any ambitions to dedicate her life to her ungrateful academic husband and her three children – and she has become invisible to society.

Little by little we start to understand what exactly is going on for each of the women, and how the lives they have lived and projected to the outside world may have seemed to be one thing, but in fact it is only when we read each of their narratives do we understand the way in which they constantly judge themselves and their friends.

Nancy is apparently living a fabulous life – she doesn’t have to work, she has a house in the city and one in the country for weekends, and a husband called Robert who adores her and their wonderful daughter Zara. Scratch beneath the surface and you see a woman who is living in a gilded tower, whose husband has basically forbidden her to work, and has struggled with the isolation and mundanity of motherhood and bringing up a child. It seems understandable that she should be drawn to seeking something beyond the confines of her marriage. I really felt Nancy’s frustration and desperation to feel something, anything that wasn’t what she was told or expected to feel. It seemed almost logical that an affair would give her this sense of liberation from her life – but not that it would culminate in her death.

Eleanor has established herself as the career woman, who is apparently the most independent and driven of the three. She works hard and loves what she does, but as a reader you get the sense that she does question whether she has made the right choices. Having children was not part of the equation for her, and it is interesting to see how everyone else felt it was their place to comment on her choices. I felt she was envious of Nancy, and when the opportunity comes up for her to be closer to Robert – she has no qualms about taking it. This is the thing with all these women. They assure each other that their bond is unbreakable, but at certain key moments, they each prove their morals take second place to their own needs and wants.

Mary was the character I felt closest to. She is married to the unappreciative and quite frankly odious Howard. He has systematically stripped away her self belief and confidence over the years as he slides from affair to affair, all the while berating Mary for not living up to his expectations. Her intelligence and own hopes and dreams have been disregarded as she has to look after her three children (four if you count Howard!) and she is becoming increasingly jaded and accepting of her own life. She loves her children passionately and devotes her life to them, but she has also lost her own identity and I think this is so true of many women over forty. We are someone’s wife, someone’s Mum, but as Mary realises, when the chance presents itself, she has to find the courage to change everything and become Mary again.

As I read the novel, what worked so well for me were the revelations not only about each of the women, but also about the connections they had with each other too. Little by little, Araminta Hall drip feeds little pieces of information that slowly start to come together, and then the realisation hits you as to how much and how little these three friends really know about each other!

When the identity of Nancy’s lover is revealed (no of course I’m not going to tell you, read the book!) the lives of the women are changed forever, and I loved how this gave Eleanor and Mary the impetus to take control of their lives. As the novel moves to its conclusion, which is done so well and is not what I expected, I thought it was poignant how Mary and Eleanor reconnected and how the longevity and unspoken bond of their friendship was what gave them strength to carry on- even though they still weren’t being entirely honest with each other.

Imperfect Women is a novel that will reinforce what you already know about women today – that they can be career orientated or stay at home to raise their families, but that both choices are seen as imperfect, and to mix the two is regarded as taking neither seriously enough. It also raises many complex questions about who decides what women should do, and why we still allow ourselves to be defined by others expectations and needs and desires, and still lack the confidence to put our own demands first.

I loved it.

Thank you very much to Francesca Pearce at Orion for my gifted copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. Check out what these other brilliant bloggers have been saying too..